


Log in with Tinder (or when Emma cockblocked the shit out of Regina's date)

by Skye_La



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Boston via google maps, Cora being awful, Emma saves the day, F/F, Flagrant use of date tropes, Marian is always right, Meet-Cute, Regina can't use chopsticks, Tumblr Prompt, Unrepentant Fluff, horrific depictions of seafood, non-magic au, reverse tinder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6333736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_La/pseuds/Skye_La
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina is trapped on a date and panicking for a way to get out. Good job Marian installed Hinder (an emergency date-interrupter app) on her phone. A certain, blonde white knight comes to her rescue.</p><p>CW for descriptions of panic attacks and creepy men</p><p>Also I literally wrote and posted this today so it's a bit rough!</p><p>-</p><p>Inspired by <a href="http://thegaypanic.tumblr.com/post/141546913162">this tumblr post</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Log in with Tinder (or when Emma cockblocked the shit out of Regina's date)

_Hinder_ the app was called. She thought Marian was joking but she had in fact installed it on her phone.

“It might not be that bad” Regina had said as she threw dress after dress onto her bed.

“Honey, your mom is pushing this guy, you need to be ready for it to be bad and I can’t bail you out this time, I’m stuck with the late shift at the clinic tonight, remember?” 

Marian picked up a high necked black dress. It was a staple, classic cut with a skirt that hit mid thigh. “This one” she said. Regina took it and held it against herself as she looked in the mirror “anyway, I installed that app, you log in with you Tinder details-”

“Which I don’t know because I haven’t used the last app you put on my phone either!” Regina interrupted

“There’s a button” she continued as if nothing had happened “that says _‘log in with Tinder’_ don’t worry about it. And if there’s someone in the area that’s free, they’ll interrupt your date and you can escape”

Regina sighed and threw the dress back on the bed. “What if he has the app and I come up on it?”

“The last guy she set you up with was old enough to be Papa Mills, remember that one?” Marian raised her eyebrows at her and she conceded. 

“You know best”

“Yes I do. Have a nice night, beautiful” and with that she was gone.

-

So that’s how it came about, and Marian had been right. There was no way Leo, greying business manager with a scruffy beard, knew the first thing about dating -or date ruining- apps.

“Your mother tells me you’re interested in travel” he says after they are settled at their table. They’re under a light which makes her uncomfortable, like she can’t see anyone, but they can all see her.

“Yes” she answers, relieved to be on a topic she can get some mileage out of. He launches into something about opening offices overseas and suddenly the entire world shrinks to business hubs and sounds deeply, deeply boring.

He doesn’t wipe his fingers properly when eating seafood, she discovers during the first course. Despite mashing the supplied lemon to pieces, they still look greasy. She looks away and drinks. The wine he ordered is too sweet. He’s still talking about business and money, she thinks he’s about to touch her hand with fishy fingers and she thinks she might heave. She jerks her hand away.

“Would you” she says much louder than she means. She brings her voice back down at the look of shock on his face “excuse me. Have to powder my…” but she doesn’t finish before she’s gone.

She’s in the bathroom and her head feels hot, she’s far too warm and fanning with her clutch isn’t cooling her down. She unzips her dress in the cubicle but that doesn’t help much either. She’s sure she can still smell fish and it’s all she can do to keep her own starter in her stomach.

She pulls out her phone and taps the icon that’s much like the tinder one, only blue and instead of a flame it looks like drops of water. She clicks _log in with Tinder_ and her picture comes up. To be fair to Marian, she had chosen a good one. She wasn’t wearing much make up and she was laughing. She looked, well, like herself. Maybe Tinder was worth investigating another time.

“How the hell does this work?” She whispers to herself

She clicks through settings and gets to a distance meter, eventually she thinks she’s done it, but what next? She doesn’t have time, she’ll have to think of something else.

She zips back up, washes her hands thoroughly and makes her way back to the table. He’s started eating without her, she's not sure if that’s good or not. Good, she supposes, it means the date will be over sooner.

She’s approaching the table from behind him when her messages beep. Please god be Marian, she thinks. It’s an unknown number.  
_  
Hinder calling: you ok? Need a sudden emergency phone call?_

She feels slightly reassured that someone is at least witness to what’s happening. She taps a quick reply.

_Not sure a phone call would cut it, but thank you, complete stranger._

She sits back down.

“Couldn’t let it go cold, you know how squid gets rubbery” he says, slurping linguine with a smack.

She tries not to retch. Rubbery? She might be off seafood for life at this rate. She takes a sip of the wine which is still too sweet and now a little warm. As she opens her napkin and her phone buzzes on her lap.  
_  
That sounds a little worrying? I’m just leaving work, it looks pretty close to where you are. I can stop in with an emergency? (Timmy’s fallen down the well!!!)_

She almost smiles. She’s ok though, right? She can handle this.

“Your mother says you’ve not been seeing anyone while you’ve been at college, is that right?”

“Yes, I’ve been focussing on my studies, it’s really nice to be challenged, I never felt academically stretched until now. I’m enjoying it” she says. She can turn this around, emphasise how she is far too young for this. She’s sure mother mentioned he had a daughter who was looking at colleges. The thought almost makes her shudder. He nods and wipes his mouth (and beard?) with his napkin before resting both wrists on the table. 

“I hope you don’t mind me saying, college boys are not worth bothering with, not for a lady as mature and well rounded as you” his eyes drop to her chest and thank god for Marian choosing a dress that kept her skin covered, even if it showed off her shape.

His eyes linger too long and everything seems too loud. Her phone buzzes again  
_  
I’m passing by on my way home, I’ll be 2 minutes, let me know if you want an interruption._

She feels frozen to the spot, limbs heavy and mind starting to buzz. How else can she get out of this? She’ll be in trouble if she ditches him but he’s propositioning her and her age only seems to be motivation. There’s a glint in his eye that says more than ‘I’m interested’ it says ‘I can’t read you’ or maybe ‘I can and I’m ignoring your discomfort’. It says he’s not giving up without a fight and she’s not sure how far he’s willing to push.  
_  
Please_ is all she manages and she hopes it’s not too late

He’s staring, smirking, he gulps his wine and she’s overwhelmed by everything being too loud, too warm, too close. She can’t look at him, she can’t look at her food. She looks over to the door for some guy with his phone out to swoop in and embarrass them all into an ending that has to be better than what else could be coming. 

He continues eating, grinning to himself as he does, taking her flush of colour, her panic, her inability to speak as a compliment rather than signs of sheer terror. She’s about to call a waiter for some water when she feels something cool on her wrist.

“Regina” someone says and she looks up, eyes wide and scared and hoping beyond reason that Marian has found her. But she hasn’t. A white woman with blonde hair and squarish glasses is looking at her.

“Excuse me” the woman says to Leo and he cocks his head and glances down her body. Regina’s sickened by it and confused and feels like she should be angry about it. “Regina I’m really sorry to interrupt, there’s an emergency at the office and we need you” 

She frowns. The office? She’s so warm and her head is swimming. The only thing keeping her anchored to the here and now is the gentle, cooling touch of this woman’s hand.

“Do you want me to get your coat? I’m really sorry about this, we just didn’t know what else to do”

“No” Regina says to the coat question. She hadn’t brought one, Leo had picked her up and insisted she didn’t need one. “It’s fine” she says and pushes her chair back. The woman squeezes her arm and lets go. 

“I’m Emma” the woman says to Leo and he lifts his chin “Emma Hinder” she says clearly and everything falls into place. The complete stranger.

“Leo Blanchard” he says back

“Regina’s my boss, sorry to steal her away” she nods guiltily

She’s so natural Regina half believes she is her boss. She glances at Leo, certain he’s going to see right through the whole charade and he just smiles coldly back. He might know she didn’t have a job if he’d asked her anything that wasn’t actually leading into a conversation about himself.

“Do you think you’ll fix whatever it is this evening?” He asks

Emma grimaces “Probably not, we really need all hands on deck. It’s gonna be a late one”

Regina is on her feet, gripping the back of her chair for support. She’s still surrounded by a wall of noise. Overhead lights pull out the details of too many objects but she nods at Emma.

“Sorry Leo, at least let me pay for my half” she says, opening her purse

“No no no” he waves her away “you can owe me until next time”

She smiles through her utter discomfort and follows Emma outside.

“This way” Emma says. 

Regina follows quickly behind her. “What?”

“You want to look like you know where you’re going, like there is actually an emergency” Emma says

“Yes, quite right” Regina says and breathes again. The air is cold. The city is lit in that gentle orange street light and everything is softer around the edges.

“That looked pretty bad, I’m glad you let me interrupt”

“Yes, me too”

“Let’s stop for a second, we’re out of sight of the restaurant and he’s not leaving until he’s finished his food”

“How do you know?”

“Well you don’t have a coat and it is freezing out. One of you drove and if it was you, you’d have your keys out by now. He didn’t offer to drive because he wanted to finish his food.”

Regina just nods. Her heart rate isn’t slowing and she’s still far too warm. She leans back against the brick wall of a building and breathes out slowly.

“You’re ok” Emma says with such certainty she kind of believes her. “You want to go home or walk and cool down first?”

“Cool down” she says, imagining Leo would be the type to drive by her apartment on the way home just to see if she was there.

“Ok. Link?” She offers her arm ”My name really is Emma by the way, Emma Swan” 

It’s the first time Regina sees anything beyond glasses and blonde hair. She’s wearing a suit, it’s tailored and paired with shoes that make her taller than Regina despite her heels. She takes her arm and leans on her a little. She feels safer with this complete stranger than she has all night. They wander a little and find their way to the river. The breeze seems to push away the horrors of her evening and the residual pangs of anxiety in her chest. Goosebumps pepper her skin and she feels the relief of coldness for the first time.

“You want my jacket?” Emma asks

“No, no, I couldn’t”

“Really I don’t need it, I’m only wearing it so I don’t have to carry it and get it creased up”

She accepts and hangs it around her shoulders. It’s warm and smells comfortingly of fresh laundry and something good she can’t identify.

“You said you finished work, what do you do?”

“I’m a consultant” she says and Regina nods at the generic answer. “Well that’s what I call myself anyway. I work for a bailbondsperson, kind of freelance. I’m thinking about setting up my own business. I’m just really good at telling when people are lying, which makes it really easy to find people”

“That’s interesting. If I lied to you, you’d be able to tell?”

“Wanna try me? Two truths and a lie, go!”

“I had a horse named Don Quixote, my mother had him put down when he was injured”

“Wow. That sucks” Emma says. It’s so candid she almost laughs.

“So?”

“His name wasn’t Don Quixote, I know because a) that’s a stupid name for a horse and b) you’re a really bad liar. Honestly that was so easy -despite the emotive subject matter, but top marks for effort”

Regina does laugh this time “I feel like I should be offended”

“You shouldn’t, being called a bad liar is definitely a compliment” Emma smiles

For a moment they just stand, smiling at each other and enjoying their back-and-forth. 

“Well” Regina says after a while “you did just finish work so you must be tired. I don’t want to keep you from going home”

“I don’t mind” Emma says quickly “my housemate is working on these nighttime events at the aquarium, I don’t know if you’ve heard of them?”

“Yes, I saw some advertising I think. It looked interesting”

“Yeah, it sounds interesting from what Ursula says. She’s a big part of organising it so I’d just be going home to an empty flat, probably order thai food and catch up on How To Get Away With Murder” she smiles but there’s something sad in it, something lonely in the way she’d rather cling to time with a her than go home.

“God, that sounds good. What episode are you on?”

“I can never remember. I know Annalise left Eve for Sam though, what is that all about?”

“I know!” Regina laughs

“Like, consider my disbelief un-suspended” she shakes her head

“So did you say your apartment was on the way to the restaurant?”

“Oh yeah, we passed it ages ago”

Regina laughs “how long ago?”

“Like 20 minutes probably”

“Wow, so you’ve just been keeping me company while I freak out about a bad date. That’s nice of you”

Emma frowns “don’t put all that on you, you looked seriously panicked when I got there. If all it takes is 20 minutes and a walk to get down from that, that’s pretty good.”

She’s right, she was only joking but her flippancy has turned Emma serious. Emma seems to know what she’s talking about and Regina knows it would have taken a lot longer if she hadn’t been in such good company.

“Ok” she concedes “thank you. Shall we walk back that way and I’ll get a taxi from yours?”

“Sounds great” Emma smiles.

They pick up thai food on the way. Emma talks about the imaginary office disasters she had created in her head in case The Date had questioned her. Every scenario is more ridiculous than the last and Regina laughs so hard she drops the chopsticks she was struggling to manoeuvre anyway.

“This is me” Emma says as they get to a wooden door in a red bricked building. “You can come up and wait for your taxi if you want, or I’ll wait out here with you”

“I probably shouldn’t come up” Regina says, feeling guilty but she’s not sure what for.

“No worries, Uber drivers always find us really easily so it shouldn’t be long”

As they wait their conversation drops off into silence. Emma’s hands slide into the pockets of her tailored trousers and her ponytail swishes as she looks up and down the street. Her cheeks dimple as she catches Regina watching her.

“Thank you for tonight” Regina says, glancing at the driver’s dot approaching them.

“Yeah, no problem. I’m glad I met you. I mean, I’m not glad you had a horrible date, that’s not what I meant-” she flusters and it’s adorable.

“I didn’t have a horrible date”

Emma’s brow crinkles in confusion “you didn’t?”

“No, we went for a walk along the river, got good take out and I don’t remember laughing like that with anyone. I had a lovely date”

The taxi pulls up right in time for her to watch Emma’s cheeks flush with pink. She slides the jacket off and passes it back.

“It was lovely to meet you” she says. Emma looks like she wants to say something. Regina squeezes her arm and Emma glances over her face, scanning her eyes and her mouth, maybe looking for the lie but there isn’t one.

“Y-you too” she stammers

Regina smiles and watches Emma’s eyes shine before she returns it “you have my number” she says before getting in the car. 

She doesn’t look back until they’re about to turn off the street. Emma must see her because she does a spin on the spot before hopping up the steps to her door.

Regina bites down on her smile and opens her messages to Marian.  
_  
Best. Date. Ever. xx_


End file.
